BIRD IN CAGE

I'm Inspired #1

2012-02-23T07:16:00.002Z

I'd like to live in a place with simple and clean structures as well as interiors. As the avid reader that I am, I can appreciate the importance of taking advantage of every available space. These pictures inspire me.

Ph.
Love Our Place

Tidbits About Life

2012-02-16T09:35:00.000Z

Lately, breakfast has been porridge and fresh pears. I used to hate porridge, but a few months ago I started liking it and now I'm addicted.

Come Hell Or High Water

2012-02-14T09:44:00.000Z

Lomography is fun, but read the manuals!

This Heart Of Mine

2012-02-13T10:35:00.000Z

Some random shots.

You Should Have Gone Home

2012-02-11T11:56:00.003Z

Guess why everyone has gone digital? Because it's bloody expensive to do analog on a regular basis. But it's still some kind of thrill. With that said, my Diana F+ Deluxe Kit arrived this week and I've already used some film. I'll have to have it developed and if it's any good, I'll show it here. It'd be a miracle, though, as turns out it's harder to use a Diana F+ than I knew or expected. But it's like they said, practice practice practice!

Ph.
Lomography

We Heart Bloggers #2

2012-02-07T09:46:00.000Z

A few of my favourites bloggers.

Day To Day

2012-02-06T10:20:00.001Z

I woke up anddragged myself out of the toasty warm bed. The sheets and pillows called for me,begging me to stay a little longer, but I could not avoid the start of the newday and they stood there, losing their heat with every second I sadly refusedto go back. Even though not used to the routine any longer, I managed to getmyself on track and found my feet leading me to the underground station brightand early. I was already on my last stop and rather close to the out-goingautomatic doors when I simply, and rather unexpectedly, stopped, my feet turnedleft and I found myself just going away. Away from the newness of this routineI had to learn from the very start, away from the knowledge I had yet to acquire, just away from reality really.

But Iexpect I shall have to return and, this time, go ahead and avoid escape. That’sjust life and you have to live it.

Ph.

Clyde House

So Enthralled I Could Never Wander

2012-02-04T20:38:00.002Z

My identity is still a mystery to me, but I suppose that's normal. I'm young but quite often I feel so old, as if life has passed me by and I've missed so much already. I was never a normal adolescent (whatever that is) and I feel a twinge of pain in my heart when I realise I was never much of a child either.

I've always found it hard to concilliate old friendships with new ones and sometimes I find myself loving isolation more than the fear of newness. This might explain why books have always been such a big part of me and my life. The best of always been so enthralled by books is that whenever I read one, I seem to find a bit more about myself and who I am - or might be.

I used to believe I would always be a city girl, wanting to live near all the luxuries and ammenities I'm so used to having, but today I realised that I don't actually need all of that. I just really need something I haven't quite found yet or am still too scare to admit I need. Maybe someday, when the time is right and I'm prepared. Maybe then.

Ph.
October Birds
Albino Muffin
Maibuzz

Inspiration Hits Me Like A Lightbulb Moment

2012-01-31T07:51:00.002Z

Often I draw inspiration from other people's work. Food photography seems to be my favourite as my bookmark folder of inspiration is filled with flickrs and the list grows by the day. I'm thinking of acquiring the deluxe kit of the Diana F+ camera. How 'bout it? I feel like delving a little into analog photography and actually taking advantage of the summer course I did on analog and digital photography. I learnt a lot, now it's time to prove it...Plus, the camera is really cute. (You can get a pouch and everything! How amazing is that?) Soon you'll be getting some vintage feel in this blog.

Ph.

unknown

Now I'm off for my last oral exam of this semester. I really pray I pass. I'm one semester away from finishing college.

Breakfast At Home

2012-01-30T09:26:00.000Z

Sometimes I like having eggs and fruit for breakfast. Usually I don't put everything together, as I don't like the mixture of temperatures, but this time I did and it tasted great anyway. My favourite ingredient in eggs is always coriander (cilantro). It gives them the little humf they need to taste perfectly.

I Went To The Opera

2012-01-29T11:11:00.000Z

While in London, I went to the Victoria and Albert Museum and had a nice breakfast beforehand, in the vicinty. L'Opera is, as you can see, a dainty place where friends can have a cup of tea accompanied by some beautiful cakes.

You Never Know What They're Thinking

2012-01-28T13:21:00.000Z

More from London, right before Christmas.

I already miss all of it.

London Calling To The Faraway Towns

2012-01-27T10:12:00.000Z

Walking around Bayswater and Queensway one Sunday, took these pictures when the streets were barely inhabited. London is really quiet at this point between night and day, the colours in the sky are overwhelmingly beautiful, the tree branches dance against the dawn and the breeze only hurts my skin a little.

The Unknown Scares Me Witless

2012-01-26T09:34:00.000Z

I honestly thought I'd love being in London before I was actually there. I've been dreaming of living in that city for a while and, having been there before, I just assumed I'd love it as much as I'd loved it before. I didn't. I felt scared and alone - it was scary and I was alone, but I never expected to feel so lonely.

The first day was rather nice, until I went out at night with two girls from Iceland. They were sweet, but of course they got two guys following them around and I got...what?...nothing, of course. It's not that I really needed or wanted someone, I just felt the absolute rejection rush over me and I felt like crying the rest of the day, after this happened. It just hurts when you realize you're not as attractive to other people as your friends and it always becomes a competition, not willing but naturally. I hate feeling rejected and alone, especially when you're standing in the middle of some underground room of a bar in Soho and all you can think is «God, I wish I hadn't had dinner in a year so I could be as beautiful and ethereal as these Icelandic girls whose tongues seem to twirl around when speaking in their native language.»

Envy is ridiculous, but ever-present - let's just be honest and upfront about it. I know I'll be feeling slight pangs of envy for most part of my life, just because I know I'm that insecure about other people and human beings are never quite content (most of us anyway). In a general notion, I find myself more and more suspicious about other human beings - I'm scared of ever having a real fight with my friends and being brutally honest out of fear of rejection; I'm scared of trusting myself to even like someone, let alone fall in love, out of fear of rejection (simply because it has always happened, after a while in the relationship); I'm scared of trusting my colleagues out of fear of rejection. I find people an unreliable sort and my suspicious nature becomes paranoid under a nice coat of vodka and beer (refer to bar in Soho experience).

Sometimes I don't care what others think, but most of the time I do and I just wish I would stop giving all the power away to someone else because «you cannot control other people's reactions, you can only control how you act to them».

I didn't love London simply because I was too scared. It was my first trip completely on my own; sometimes I didn't get a word of what people said because I watch more American shows than British ones; it was right before Christmas; I had no boyfriend although this shouldn't have such a great impact; my social life is a mess and basically non-existent; I was there on a work matter and I keep realizing no one will hire me for a long time.

Maybe I'll love it better and more the next time.

Big Breakfast Makes You Stronger

2012-01-25T10:50:00.002Z

On my last day in London I entered this local café, was given an enormous menu and, among the many many choices, I decided I needed to eat a "typical english breakfast" given the fact that I'd eaten all but english food during my time there. So here it is...The beans out of a can (thank God for Heinz, really); a roasted tomato; a sausage that tasted a bit like plastic; weird soft bacon; hash brown that tasted of oil: watery mushrooms; good egg and toast though. All in all, it was an experience I could've done without because I'd already eaten a "typical english breakfast" many times when staying in the south of Portugal (many Brits over there, I tell ya), but I couldn't come home without having eaten one of the two, the fry-up or the fish and chips (which I've never eaten, actually). The breakfast won because it's just healthier to eat heavier in the morning than in the afternoon/midday. With that said, don't go to that particular place in Queensway/Bayswater. I cannot remember the name of the café for the life of me, but I'm pretty sure it was extremely woody, as in, everything was made of wood (walls, panels, tables, chairs, etc.)

I imagine that if I ever do move to London, I won't be eating too many of these. But I still have fish and chips to look forward to.

Sweet Treats in London

2012-01-24T10:07:00.006Z

On one of my last days in London during Christmas time, I dragged myself out of bed at six a.m. to go to Violet Cakes and buy the famous cupcakes of East London. I bought a candied violet cupcake, a coconut milk cupcake and several tiny cupcakes of lemon cream, clementine and candied violet - this was all meant as a goodbye treat for the team at the magazine where I was doing work experience. These were the only photos taken that day as I spent the entire day in a sugar haze, coupled by the fact that there were a lot of sweet treats in the office.

What I loved the most was realizing that in England, a lot of people still send Christmas cards and give each other little delicacies as Christmas tokens. I barely ever see people sending and receiving cards in Portugal, we should definitely adopt that custom again.

(Aparté: the photos have poor quality because I didn't take my Nikon with me, I decided not to risk being mugged and I couldn't leave the camera in the hostel either and risk being robbed instead. Therefore, I took my dad's point and shoot which has, clearly, seen better days.)

Only Now, I Know

2012-01-23T01:32:00.002Z

Every year, most of us make a list of the things we'd like to change. The milestone of turning another page on the book of life makes us see the beginning of each year as an alcoholic sees the beginning of each day, as if we were starting over with a blank slate. Unfortunately, much like an alcoholic or any other type of addict, just because it's a new day doesn't mean we are different people and we're bound to make the same mistakes. With that said, I'm a firm believer that anyone can change as long as they put their mind to it and actually force themselves on said change. So, here I am, making new year's resolutions. A bit late, admittedly, as it took me a while to realize what I wanted, but still. And, for your sake, the list above is a very generic version of my list as I did not feel I ought to bother you to death with my resolution to graduate, get an internship, move away from Portugal, etc.

Once, I read that it's better if one doesn't announce one's plans because one tends to slack off after doing so. Apparently, the act of declaring the intention of change seems to be just about enough change for some and the acting upon the intention never comes. I, however, feel like if I claim my intent to change in this blog, I am making a pact, a contract if you will, with all of you and, most of all, with myself.

Let's hope this is also my year, not only the year of Penny!
If anyone watches Happy Endings, they will know what I'm talking about).

We Heart Bloggers

2012-01-22T12:43:00.002Z

Photo © Aimee Song

Aimee is a blogger whose style I admire beyond belief. She has the hability, as you can see, to mix and match opposite fashions and styles and make them connect in perfect juxtaposition. I like going to her blog regularly because she's a great source of inspiration and ideas. I chose this particular outfit because she's been able to make a rather rough-looking urban trench go so well with a crazy-cool patterned dress, adding to that the Isabel Marant pumps I crave, I pine and long for. With that said, she's one of my favourite bloggers, without a doubt.

Day 1

2012-01-21T19:33:00.000Z

I had to change and I didn't know how to do it, so I chose the only way I knew.

I ran.

I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I had believed them when they told me this would kill me.

My body didn't speak to me loud and clear, then. Now I can see how wrong I was to believe it'd be different for me.

I'm not special. I'm just me.